As soon as we arrived at a newly discovered park yesterday, Lance ran toward a Port A Potty and declared, “I have to empty my pee-pee tank!” Well that’s a new one, I disgustedly thought as I realized I was going to have to finangle him in there to do his business while trying to discourage him from touching anything. I prayed Vivian wouldn’t scream in terror at momentarily being left to watch from the car.
Nothing like some potty talk to keep you reading, ehh?
We’ve been in PA for a little over three weeks now, and the upheaval that comes with change is starting to settle as we become more acquainted with our surroundings. Getting to see family often has been a welcome part of our transition. Jan is working long hours, which means I am working long solo-parenting hours to keep this old house and its small occupants happy, fed, and clean. My cousin put it best one time, “It’s a challenging, beautiful life!”
In light of Mother’s Day this past Sunday, I am sharing a little poem that I recently came across. You see, it is printed in an antique looking framed-picture of a mother and child that hangs in the front entrance of our temporary house. As an over-worked and unpaid stay-at-home-mom, it should come as no surprise that I was immediately drawn to the poem.
She traveled the journey before you
She has known all the cost of the way,
She paid out the price to its fullness,
That Motherhood only can pay.
She loved when the world was against you
She hoped – when your hope sank and died;
She clung to your hand when the clinging
Left scars in her heart, deep and wide
She labored – and loved – and was happy.
For down deep in her kind heart she knew
Your kindness and love would repay her
For all that she did – just for you.
As woman of this guest house for a few months, I knew that picture and poem hanging next to the front door was no irony. I always look for meaning in the world around me, and that poem is serving as a reminder of the importance of motherhood. As a still fairly new mom, I am learning that more and more. The verses feel like a gentle pat on the back as I tiredly walk in and out of the front door, usually sweating with a baby on my hip or coercing a three-year-old to put on his shoes or calling for Luke the Pugsylvania to come back in the house before he wanders off into unknown territory.
The poem also reminds me that a woman who stays at home with her children should never dumb herself down by saying “Oh, I am just a mom,” when asked what she does for a living like I did one time. Ahem, I don’t think I have to go into detail about the amount of work that goes into diapering, snot, and tears. Some days the identity loss I felt after becoming a mom still nags at me. Mostly because I know I have unrealized career opportunities outside the home. But instead? I self-sacrifice for the betterment of my kids.
Every freaking day.
In the process, and in between the freak-outs, I joyfully get to watch my kids learn and grow.
Lately, I have been feeling the need to take a blogging break and “just be” with the kids for a while. I also need some time to research writing ideas and let others brew until I am ready to release them into the blogosphere (or magazine or journal or newspaper). When I sat down to blog tonight I received a notification from WordPress telling me that I registered my blog three years ago today. Irony? I’m not sure, but today’s post also happens to mark my 199th post on Britta’s Banter. What does this mean? Who knows?! Probably nothing, but I’d say it’s a nice tidy place to take a sabbatical.
Of course, I could just leave it at “blogging break,” but I prefer nerdy academic terms. They make me feel somewhat connected to my former identity, and knowing that exists somewhere underneath all the kid slime is still pretty important to me. While on “rest” I plan to take time to purposefully silence my writing aspirations, no matter how hard, until I am ready for the big-time. I keep believing a professional writing career will happen for me one day, but for now I am a mom and that is more than just enough.
I know I’ll post again at some point, so this is not the end. Instead it is a chance for me to take an extended absence from publishing. Who knew one could take a blogging sabbatical?! I don’t know if it is customary, but if not, I am happy to pave the way for others. After all, I kind of do that for my two little ducks every (freaking) day. Let’s just hope that while I am on leave we don’t have to waddle over to another Port A Potty any time soon.
Oops, there I go again with the potty talk. What the duck?
Word to your mother,
The Banter Lady