Seven on Sunday 5.3 – CORN

List of Seven on Sunday is a weekly column that I write intended to entertain avid readers with short-attention spans who like avoiding the real world at all cost on weekends. This column, written in a newspaper parody form,  falls most closely into the genre of creative nonfiction. Derived from my own life, the content is loosely structured around sections in a traditional newspaper. 

1. News — 

Yahoooo, I got my computer back from the Apple computer doctors. Power source restored. Hard drive in tact.

Kind of like me!

(I promise I’ll stop doing likening myself to a computer. I’m just not sure when).

2. Weather —

Yesterday was a great evening for a campfire with friends!


3. Sports —

After a tough run on Monday, due to being hampered by afternoon heat and a sore knee, I bounced back with gusto yesterday. I ran 9.5 miles, and I am feeling more confidant about the half marathon I am about to run the first weekend in October. Even if I have to interval between running and walking the last few miles, I will be happy.

Then I will promptly take an intermission from running to rest my tired joints. Or I may never run again.

But not really. I only like to say that when I feel the onset of pain.

Kind of like when people say,”I’ll never drink again,” at the onset of a debilitating hangover.

We all go back for more after a recovery period.

Human beings are fighters like that.

4. Arts & Entertainment —

For fun at our campfire and cook-out yesterday, I emceed a blind-folded corn on the cob tasting with my friend to see if he could distinguish the difference between two types of corn. One was from the farm of the university that employs him and the other was from a local farmer.

photo credit: Shawanda

photo credit: Shawanda

I don’t want to make anybody feel bad, but he was unsuccessful in the tasting.

Yet very successful in bringing some entertainment into the evening for the adults and kids alike! Imagine a row of four cute little kids sitting in cute little kid lawn chairs and two amused spouses looking on.

We’re so corny. And the fact that I just said that, validates my point.

5. Lifestyle —

A few weeks ago, it dawned on me that I am still using Johnson & Johnson’s baby bedtime bath and lotion on my children. In four months they will be 5 and 3. Hardly babies.

How did this happen?! I need another baby to use this shampoo on, I thought. But that thought was quickly followed by a, No I don’t.


Slowly I am coming to terms with the decision to tell my ovaries we are closing up shop. And that’s not a bad thing. My two little loves will always be my babies, even if I have to break down and buy them kids body wash with little Disney characters or whatever kind of kid looking graphics they put on soap for big kids.


Gone with the comforting little ‘no more tears’ drop on Johnson & Johnson’s and in with the cartoon characters.

But then I tell myself, it’s not so bad if I keep buying Johnson & Johnson’s for them until they are teenagers. Right?! They are my babies after all.

I have half a bottle of Johnson & Johnson’s left before I make the call on what to buy next. I can tell it’ll be a difficult decision.

6. Opinions —

I must declare that I’m fired up about the 2016 Presidential Election.

Which is WAY out of character for me.

I shy away from politics at all cost, and I even once wrote that Seven on Sunday would be void of politics. But I totally take that back.

This is a crucial time for the direction of the United States. I want a bright future for my children, so it is high time people like me start taking a stronger stance. During the last presidential election I took the self-proclaimed stance of ‘pro-happiness’ and slapped a sign up with the slogan on my office door at Virginia Tech. I wanted to fend off people leaning too far right or too far left in order to encourage people of all sides to come together and meet at happiness.

Though I need to define ‘pro-happiness’ better so as not to come off as a Polyanna, I am sticking to it because, once again, all parties need to find a way to come together. We should be working as one force to find solutions where the majority agree and simultaneously benefit instead of a drawing constant battle lines between parties on sensitive topics. I mean what happened to ‘United We Stand’?

More specifically, we the people need to come together while maintaining the fundamentals of the United States government – life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness in a democracy, based on personal freedom with adherence to a legal system. 

Ok, I am starting to scare myself with this political talk, but do note my last eight words of the last sentence that are in bold.

And now I must travel no further down these political roads, or I am afraid I may end up whimpering in the corner like a baby because I lack confidence in some of my political knowledge. But given this newfound energy behind my feelings after watching the GOP Debate on Wednesday night, I doubt I will be feeling ill-informed a year from now.

I’m hopping on the election trail and plan to educate myself along the way. Informed is me come next November. With a young family of my own, my values are strengthening daily and I plan to vote for the best candidate that aligns with them.

To my peers — you, too, should follow the campaigns for presidency carefully over the next year.

And then, regardless of what you learn, you should vote who whoever I vote for. You can even borrow my slogan.


Pro-happiness for the win.

7. Comics —

Luke the Pug ate an ear of corn yesterday. Cob and all. Somewhere between the tasting and the marshmallows he pulled a fast one on me.


Corn dog.

I am still waiting for the repercussions.

About britta326

blogger, picture-taker, diaper-changer, runner

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