Seven on Sunday 5.4 – SORRY

List of Seven on Sunday is a weekly column that I write intended to entertain avid readers with short attention spans who like avoiding the real world at all cost on weekends. This column, written in a newspaper parody form,  falls most closely into the genre of creative nonfiction. Derived from my own life, the content is loosely structured around sections in a traditional newspaper. 

1. News — 

It is not Sunday. It is Monday.

Seven on Sunday didn’t make it to the publisher on time yesterday. (Which basically means I didn’t finish writing it and clicking the blue ‘Publish’ button on my blog until this morning).

Sorry ’bout that!

2. Weather —

The nights are getting colder. When I wake up in the morning, I find myself reaching for my all-too-familiar bluish-green fleece hoodie that I lived in all last winter.

Although I love the first feelings of cooler weather, when I really sit and think about the brutality of last year’s frigid temperatures, I have mixed feelings about the weather that lies ahead. Still, I find myself cooking hot meals with delight and eagerly thinking about holing up for the winter, which I must admit I do enjoy to a point.

Just thinking of the long, dark, cold days ahead makes me want to lunge for some fleece socks, a big cowl, a glass of red wine, and some good books. It makes me long to cuddle Vivian in the new fleecy footed pajamas I bought for her to ward off the cold this winter.

But we’re not there yet.

As of last week, it is fall. How ’bout that total eclipse of the Harvest Moon last night? ‘Super’ wasn’t it!

Time to get out and savor the pleasant, sunny days ahead at an apple farm or pumpkin patch.

Time to play in the leaves in your backyard. If you don’t have leaves in your back yard, come to my house. We have no shortage of oak trees that rain down on us all fall.

Time to cook festive, fall foods. Chili, squash, pie! Oh my!

Time to consume pumpkin-everything. (I had a bowl of Eddy’s special edition pumpkin ice cream last night. Recommend).

Time to start planning Halloween costumes. What will I be?

Fall is quite possibly my favorite season. So while the cold overnight lows greet me with the gripping chills of wintertime when I step out of bed in the morning, the days inevitably bring me back to all the things I love about fall. Including the scarecrow, mum, and fall wreath I adorned my porch with this week.

I think I’ll shove my all-too-familiar bluish-green fleece hoodie back into my closet until wintertime. Surely I can find something else to keep me warm until then. A vest, perhaps. Ah yes, that’ll do it. Come to think of it, I have a pale orange down one. Festive!

3. Sports —

Less than one week to go until half-marathon time! I (think) I am ready.

4. Arts & Entertainment —

Jan and I went out on a date on Friday night. You know, that thing where we talk and gaze lovingly into each other eyes without being asked by small children to cut their food or take them to the bathroom and wipe their bottom in the middle of eating dinner. Or tell them how many bites they have to eat before the possibility of dessert. Not to mention the occasional interruption of a spilled drink.

Our date night was a lovely anomaly alongside the chaos of parenting small children.

We talked. We gazed. We cut our own food. We used the restroom with grace upon completion of an entire meal. We were too full for dessert because we ate every bite of our dinner without being asked. No one spilled a drink.

5. Lifestyle —

For some reason Vivian’s new favorite word is ‘sorry.’ And not the kind of genuine sorry that you say when you really mean it. Hers has more of a sing-song tone and she uses it is a polite way of saying she isn’t going to cooperate.

Let me give you a few examples of her usage.

“I don’t want to get dressed. Sorrrrr-ry.”

“I’m not putting my toys away. Sorrrrr-ry.”

“You can’t play with my toy cash register. Sorrrrr-ry.”

I’m not sure where this edition of two-year-old speak stems from, but it makes me chuckle. Largely because I don’t like apologizing unless absolutely necessary, and her version of ‘sorry’ is rather unapologetic.


6. Opinions —

Overly apologetic people annoy me. It’s a good thing I didn’t start this blog post with an apology.

7. Comics —

Like analogies?

I have one for you.

Extension chords and power strips are to my husband as notebooks and binders filled with words are to me.


As my quest for organization continues, it has come to my attention that, in his life so far, Jan has accumulated upwards of 20 extension cords and at least six power strips and surge protectors. And we all know my affinity for hoarding notebooks and binders archiving knowledge.

The results makes sense. Jan is an electrical engineer and I am a… still trying to figure that out.

Not sure where to go from here, but I wonder if there is potential to work my findings into Halloween costumes.

About britta326

blogger, picture-taker, diaper-changer, runner

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